Pyrex enters a new orifice...

    We have seen many abominable things appear in this world, many are right out in the open for us to see and laugh at. But there lies a hidden world, one of pleasure, and of lunacy, its title: the designer sex toy. These insane works of 'art,' as some may call it, are expensive alternatives to the actual human interface. It is thought that these are meant for mainly the lonely. Except of course if the number of women in the room outnumber the men, then something needs to keep the extras occupied while waiting in line. The craft of this form of art has thankfully veered to the side of our peripheral vision. For those of you whom at this point think that these utensils are widely known by everyone intimately, and that the information presented is just common knowledge, then please submit your name to the sick evil fucks of America. But its time to venture into the depths of this pathetically profitable business.

Our first specimen: The Stud

    This shapely thing comes in sizes ranging from 6-12” in length, and 3/4" to 1 1/2” in diameter. And its price ranging from $95, to $170. I just bought myself a Radeon 8500 for $170, but that’s a different type of pleasure with a different aspect of 'quality'.

So the stud just 'aint doin' it for you? If that saber can’t satisfy your needs, then double your blade with the Super Long Double Dong:

    This bad boy sports an incredible 18 inches of raw power. Although you can’t customize the length, you have the option of 3/4" to 1 1/2” diameter sizes. This Darth Maul weapon of choice will set you back a measly 140 - 200 dollars.

    So your lesbian lover has brought some friends over to share the fun? No problem! Give the super long double dong the night off, cause you’ve just armed yourself with the Three ways ‘til Sunday:

    This evil starfish features three 8” rods that come in 3/4" to 1 1/2” diameter sizes. Forget the cigarettes - get these women some cigars! And what may be the price of such a handy tool? Only 180 - $240, so order yours today!

If these crafty beasts don’t match your decor, then there are plenty of colorful alternatives:

The royal blue twist	The mist white

    And many more. If we were to post pictures of all the different varieties if designer dildos, it would take just a few extra gigabytes of space than we have to play with.

    Have you seen all these dildos already? Has WinGlitch just wasted your time with information that you already knew??? Then the sick evil fucks of America are awaiting your call! And of course you have to love the disclaimers the sellers of these fine products must display, because although ridiculously obvious, you know there is at least one poor excuse for an intelligent being out there that will do the exact opposite of “proper use”.

Disclaimer
Although all Glass Pleasure products are durable and designed to last a lifetime, they are glass and can break.
Treat them carefully. Do not drop them or knock two of them together.
NEVER use one of these products if damaged! Inspect each piece for chips or cracks prior to each use.
All items are easily cleaned with hot water and soap, or rubbing alcohol and a clean rag.

    Am I the only one who would like to observe the idiot's face who will try to use one of these things although its broken? I can see these true designer marvels popping up all over 'modern' houses in America.

    Glass not your thing? Then take a peek at what religious designs some psychopaths have to offer: The Jackhammer Jesus

http://www.divine-interventions.com/jackhammer.html
http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/divine_dildos.html

    Please note that I nor anyone associated with this site has actually purchased any of the objects described above.

    Twenty years ago, talking about sex in public was a social crime. Today, not talking about it is. Glass dildos, especially designer glass dildos, are something new and extraordinary that our wicked society has produced. How long until males get replaced by silicone-glass-fiber machines?

    Have you used one of the above products? Be sure to visit our Discussion Zone and tell us about it - although we would appreciate a non-graphic description if you are a male.

    And think about getting one of these for your Valentine next year - chocolates and flowers is just too damn ordinary.